It doesn't help. Women can't control themselves, they are relentless.
I've had sit-down convos with GFs I lived with about how if they wanted to get married like we planned they had to stop nagging and start cooking. They'd be sobbing in tears, claiming they loved me and would change. 24 hours later it was like a memwipe happened, and they'd be right back to nagging about everything and whining to go out to eat, not understanding when I asked them if they remembered what we'd talked about yesterday. All they remembered was that I had been an asshole to them, but they had forgiven me.
A horrible woman with a psychological disorder or two. Sounds like narcissistic personality disorder combined with an addiction to power/control. A man will suffer a lot with such a horrible woman. She may also make life miserable for coworkers or underlings at work (if applicable).
Obviously the best option would be to never get in a relationship with such a problematic woman. This requires skills for identifying sickos in advance, and behaving in ways that repulse sickos. For example, never be self-deprecating.
Second-best option is to break up with her, but this is complicated when a couple already have one or more children.
Third-best option (not recommended) is to figure out how to mistreat her in a way that causes her to behave less badly. For example, if she's a narcissist, then narcissists are relatively easy to manipulate. But this doesn't produce a happy life, rather it produces a less bad life of managing a horrible disturbed person.
Thanks, genuinely appreciate your perspective here.
You’re exactly right: polarity collapses long before the relationship does. It starts with small concessions, blurred boundaries, and the slow merging you mentioned. Most men don’t even notice the shift until they’re already half-tamed.
I actually am planning a follow-up on the “how not to get domesticated” side: the preventative habits, the masculine disciplines, the frame protections that keep attraction and polarity alive.
Your comment shows that it’s worth writing.
If you do end up exploring this topic on your Substack, I’d be interested to read the feminine perspective as well. Always good to see both sides of the polarity.
Happens to more guys than anyone admits. Curfew never shows up as “control,” it shows up as “being considerate.” By the time you notice the shift, your whole social world has shrunk.
I was married once. Now I (57m) keep my woman(33f) as my property. She does not tell me what to do. Granted it has taken some work. Especially as she's an ex nurse and wants to mother me when I am sick. The temdecies are there and most women are now operating on an unspoken assumption of male incompetence. The effects of our misandrist society.
One can live a normal life but it takes the willingness to be alone combined with a sustained effort to eliminate the social programming. You will end up understanding how awful human women really are and love the exception if you find it.
Yeah he writes from the elder perspective, looking back on decades of marriage, collapse, and rebuilding. My angle is different: I write in real time as a divorced father rebuilding identity and polarity right after the fall. Two different archetypes, same mission.
I tell my woman when to enter and exit vehicles and buildings. I do not tolerate her telling me what to do. Society has fallen so far into the perverse that most don't even see it.
Appreciate you reading it with an open mind. Most people never hear the man’s side because men are trained to stay quiet until they’re already numb. Polarity doesn’t die overnight, it gets buried under routines and assumptions. When both people see it clearly, things get a lot simpler. Thanks for sharing it forward.
The information and the idea is good but this whole post is built with AI. If you're over 35 and you couldn't tell, u are god damn cooked and u should disconnect from the internet for your own safety.
One I'd add is stealing your food. I had a GF that would take stuff off my plate, even at restaurants. I started by politely telling her to stop, progressed to trying to stab her hand with a fork, and after a few weeks I got up and drove home without her. Her friends we were out with gave her a lift back, and she was quite mad. I asked her why would I do such a thing as leave in the middle of dinner, and she couldn't remember what the issue was. All she remembered was that I was an asshole who drove home w/o her.
You gotta push back on this stuff early.
It doesn't help. Women can't control themselves, they are relentless.
I've had sit-down convos with GFs I lived with about how if they wanted to get married like we planned they had to stop nagging and start cooking. They'd be sobbing in tears, claiming they loved me and would change. 24 hours later it was like a memwipe happened, and they'd be right back to nagging about everything and whining to go out to eat, not understanding when I asked them if they remembered what we'd talked about yesterday. All they remembered was that I had been an asshole to them, but they had forgiven me.
I think a lot of it is her friend group.
A horrible woman with a psychological disorder or two. Sounds like narcissistic personality disorder combined with an addiction to power/control. A man will suffer a lot with such a horrible woman. She may also make life miserable for coworkers or underlings at work (if applicable).
Obviously the best option would be to never get in a relationship with such a problematic woman. This requires skills for identifying sickos in advance, and behaving in ways that repulse sickos. For example, never be self-deprecating.
Second-best option is to break up with her, but this is complicated when a couple already have one or more children.
Third-best option (not recommended) is to figure out how to mistreat her in a way that causes her to behave less badly. For example, if she's a narcissist, then narcissists are relatively easy to manipulate. But this doesn't produce a happy life, rather it produces a less bad life of managing a horrible disturbed person.
AWALT
i love the post. I know the theory about polarity and keeping each other space's, being together but not merging into that mess you described above...
begin in your femenine and allowing the man to be the man...
and stills the tendency is indeed to go towards that which you described...
Domestication, emasculation... what a horrible thing to do to the man you love...
I have a substack for woman,, and i'll definitely be writing about that soon!
thanks for the inspiration!
I wonder if you have another post on your take of how not to get to that "domestication"...
a lot of food for thought... definitely a good mirror for me now. Cheers!
Thanks, genuinely appreciate your perspective here.
You’re exactly right: polarity collapses long before the relationship does. It starts with small concessions, blurred boundaries, and the slow merging you mentioned. Most men don’t even notice the shift until they’re already half-tamed.
I actually am planning a follow-up on the “how not to get domesticated” side: the preventative habits, the masculine disciplines, the frame protections that keep attraction and polarity alive.
Your comment shows that it’s worth writing.
If you do end up exploring this topic on your Substack, I’d be interested to read the feminine perspective as well. Always good to see both sides of the polarity.
Cheers.
— Z
Have definitely lost a lot of friends to the creep of the curfew! Great point!
Happens to more guys than anyone admits. Curfew never shows up as “control,” it shows up as “being considerate.” By the time you notice the shift, your whole social world has shrunk.
“I’ll let you stay out till 10.”
WTF? If it's gotten to that point, you're hosed. Men have to lead in their marriage and set boundaries (women are all about boundaries).
This article makes me that much more thankful for my wife, gotta say.
Yeah mine was different.. My ex-wife would pull in her mom and friends as reinforcements. Learned my boundaries the hard way. Look at #9 in this list: https://www.deadbeatzaddy.com/p/the-female-manipulation-index-11?lli=1 Thought you were divorced though?
Got remarried a year and a half ago and she's amazing.
That's a great list, BTW, good stuff for guys to keep an eye out for in the early stages.
Good to hear man! Gives me hope for later.
I was married once. Now I (57m) keep my woman(33f) as my property. She does not tell me what to do. Granted it has taken some work. Especially as she's an ex nurse and wants to mother me when I am sick. The temdecies are there and most women are now operating on an unspoken assumption of male incompetence. The effects of our misandrist society.
One can live a normal life but it takes the willingness to be alone combined with a sustained effort to eliminate the social programming. You will end up understanding how awful human women really are and love the exception if you find it.
Yeah, I certainly didn't imagine I would *ever* get married again.
I’m constantly baffled when I observe firsthand what some people put up with (both guys & gals btw).
Lack of boundaries is the #1 problem for a lot of folks who deal with marriage / job / family issues.
If my wife would have ever pulled 10% of this, there would have been war.
If I would have accepted just a fraction of that, she would have shouted to my face to effing find my balls and man up.
Put the stops - immediately - if there is serious disrespect. It helps both sides. And avoids gunnysacking.💣
MOTOCYCLES, DEATH METAL AND CIGARS
Man I recognize a few of these from a marriage that, shocker, failed.
Yeah I feel like by the time you notice it you're already married..
I was married for 20 years.
Now I’ve been single for 20 years and love it!
I so get this.
It happens on both sides in different ways.
I was trained to make more money and do all the emotional and child stuff.
Freedom is rewarding.
wow - I'm kind of in shock - I've been married for 30 years - I WANT my husband to have friends. Have you met the @crazy55oldman?
Is that your husband? I've seen some of his stuff..
No just a guy whose work I do admire
Yeah he writes from the elder perspective, looking back on decades of marriage, collapse, and rebuilding. My angle is different: I write in real time as a divorced father rebuilding identity and polarity right after the fall. Two different archetypes, same mission.
I tell my woman when to enter and exit vehicles and buildings. I do not tolerate her telling me what to do. Society has fallen so far into the perverse that most don't even see it.
Great Work!
“Intimacy becomes paperwork” . So true, getting that polarity back is truly an art.
Ive always thought about the woman perspective, so interesting to actually get the man’s, thanks! Ill forward this onwards !
Appreciate you reading it with an open mind. Most people never hear the man’s side because men are trained to stay quiet until they’re already numb. Polarity doesn’t die overnight, it gets buried under routines and assumptions. When both people see it clearly, things get a lot simpler. Thanks for sharing it forward.
The information and the idea is good but this whole post is built with AI. If you're over 35 and you couldn't tell, u are god damn cooked and u should disconnect from the internet for your own safety.
Definitely getting a slop vibe from this one.
This article is giving me flashbacks.
One I'd add is stealing your food. I had a GF that would take stuff off my plate, even at restaurants. I started by politely telling her to stop, progressed to trying to stab her hand with a fork, and after a few weeks I got up and drove home without her. Her friends we were out with gave her a lift back, and she was quite mad. I asked her why would I do such a thing as leave in the middle of dinner, and she couldn't remember what the issue was. All she remembered was that I was an asshole who drove home w/o her.
You picked her.
Yup I learned from it.