Yeah he writes from the elder perspective, looking back on decades of marriage, collapse, and rebuilding. My angle is different: I write in real time as a divorced father rebuilding identity and polarity right after the fall. Two different archetypes, same mission.
Thanks, genuinely appreciate your perspective here.
You’re exactly right: polarity collapses long before the relationship does. It starts with small concessions, blurred boundaries, and the slow merging you mentioned. Most men don’t even notice the shift until they’re already half-tamed.
I actually am planning a follow-up on the “how not to get domesticated” side: the preventative habits, the masculine disciplines, the frame protections that keep attraction and polarity alive.
Your comment shows that it’s worth writing.
If you do end up exploring this topic on your Substack, I’d be interested to read the feminine perspective as well. Always good to see both sides of the polarity.
Appreciate you reading it with an open mind. Most people never hear the man’s side because men are trained to stay quiet until they’re already numb. Polarity doesn’t die overnight, it gets buried under routines and assumptions. When both people see it clearly, things get a lot simpler. Thanks for sharing it forward.
Happens to more guys than anyone admits. Curfew never shows up as “control,” it shows up as “being considerate.” By the time you notice the shift, your whole social world has shrunk.
wow - I'm kind of in shock - I've been married for 30 years - I WANT my husband to have friends. Have you met the @crazy55oldman?
Is that your husband? I've seen some of his stuff..
No just a guy whose work I do admire
Yeah he writes from the elder perspective, looking back on decades of marriage, collapse, and rebuilding. My angle is different: I write in real time as a divorced father rebuilding identity and polarity right after the fall. Two different archetypes, same mission.
i love the post. I know the theory about polarity and keeping each other space's, being together but not merging into that mess you described above...
begin in your femenine and allowing the man to be the man...
and stills the tendency is indeed to go towards that which you described...
Domestication, emasculation... what a horrible thing to do to the man you love...
I have a substack for woman,, and i'll definitely be writing about that soon!
thanks for the inspiration!
I wonder if you have another post on your take of how not to get to that "domestication"...
a lot of food for thought... definitely a good mirror for me now. Cheers!
Thanks, genuinely appreciate your perspective here.
You’re exactly right: polarity collapses long before the relationship does. It starts with small concessions, blurred boundaries, and the slow merging you mentioned. Most men don’t even notice the shift until they’re already half-tamed.
I actually am planning a follow-up on the “how not to get domesticated” side: the preventative habits, the masculine disciplines, the frame protections that keep attraction and polarity alive.
Your comment shows that it’s worth writing.
If you do end up exploring this topic on your Substack, I’d be interested to read the feminine perspective as well. Always good to see both sides of the polarity.
Cheers.
— Z
“Intimacy becomes paperwork” . So true, getting that polarity back is truly an art.
Ive always thought about the woman perspective, so interesting to actually get the man’s, thanks! Ill forward this onwards !
Appreciate you reading it with an open mind. Most people never hear the man’s side because men are trained to stay quiet until they’re already numb. Polarity doesn’t die overnight, it gets buried under routines and assumptions. When both people see it clearly, things get a lot simpler. Thanks for sharing it forward.
Have definitely lost a lot of friends to the creep of the curfew! Great point!
Happens to more guys than anyone admits. Curfew never shows up as “control,” it shows up as “being considerate.” By the time you notice the shift, your whole social world has shrunk.