Summer in Paradise

👔 Tale from the W2

Tales from the W2 is my dispatch from inside the corporate Matrix — the cookouts, the check-ins, the rituals.
I’m not here to glamorize the grind. I’m just documenting it: the theater, the fatigue, the flashpoints where you remember exactly why you’re plotting your escape.

I kept my wedding ring on — camouflage among the corporate NPCs.
They don’t know I’m mid-divorce, five moves ahead, quietly slipping out of the simulation.

The theme was Summer in Paradise, so I flung on a Hawaiian shirt and shorts — default camo for a tech party in 90-degree heat.
Corporate fun in the sun. Someone upstairs thought this was morale-boosting.

Walked through the revolving doors of the satellite IT office and spotted my new engineering manager, Natalie.
Quick hello. I asked about the itinerary.
She said our staff engineer Farid was out grabbing food, and senior engineer Lucas was already posted up inside.

Then came a ghost from the past — Matt Daniels, senior project manager from my old supply chain days.
We shook hands.
Funny how these career ghosts resurface. Still wearing the same lanyard. Still saying, “We should catch up.”

Made my way through the usual crowd: staff engineers, an architect, a senior manager.
Handshake. Head nod. Repeat.
“You’re late,” one of them said. “We already ate.”
I laughed. Not because it was funny — because they were right.

Out back, the grill was going. I asked for a burger.
Lettuce. Tomato. Onion. Ketchup. Mustard. The classics.
Dr. Pepper from the cooler. Back inside.

Lucas was standing with a back brace, so I struck up a conversation. Turns out it’s serious — chronic pain, work-from-home strain.
That burger? Not bad. Flame-broiled just enough to prove someone gave a shit.

At a nearby table I saw Omar — senior dev from my old data analytics team.
He introduced me to Ricky, our former intern turned full-time engineer.
Omar dropped some game on GitHub Copilot Agents — basically plug-and-play AI assistants wired to any LLM you choose.
Fascinating.
A glimpse of the new workflow: seniority slowly being replaced by prompt engineering.

The host circled back, handed us flimsy plastic shades stamped with the company logo.
“Team picture time,” he said. Of course it was.

Then came the corporate ritual: new hires stood up, spelled out the company name while we clapped like a sitcom audience.
Someone shouted, “Kick ass!!!”

I cringed — quietly.
That’s how they get you. One group photo at a time.